s o f a

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Some scenes from the sofa, where doglet and I spent the whole day yesterday, knitting Kate Davies designs and watching films. Being ill has some up sides.

* Doglet's doppelganger cushion was a Christmas gift.

b r e a t h e r

Just poking my head out of my writing cocoon to take a breather. I cleared my diary this week to have 3 days of just reading and writing for a paper tomorrow. Although I have a nervous tummy about it, it's been a welcome pleasure to have time to think. There's so little space for that normally, and 3 days is hardly a lot (everything in life has to be so speeded up), but it has been refreshing. I've been reading Timothy Morton's The Ecological Thought. I've known Tim in the past to be 'batshit crazy', as the yoof put it, but in a good way. He still is, but this book is a lot more grounded than usual. In some ways it's like Erica Fudge on speed, in that it is passionate about our sharedness with animals.

Anyway, this gives me an excuse to post this picture of the doglet in her Christmas jumper, looking a lot like Gareth Edwards in his 1970s prime, scoring tries for the Welsh rugby team. Six nations are coming up -- we're just waiting for the call.

t i m e f o r t e a

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End of another busy week. Nice bits have been, filling the house with lovely scents from Muji (rose, amber and cedarwood), hanging up our Donna Wilson tea-towel (Christmas gift), going for acupuncture, walking the doglet in the bright sunshine, drinking the last of the delicious Russian Evening tea from Kusmi, and having friends over for dinner last night. I made the lamb rogan josh from the first Leon cookbook. It was great -- lovely ingredients that made for a really fresh taste and cheerful colours on the plate. Said friends were very generous and brought champagne, violet and rose creams, hyacinths and soaps -- I'm very lucky! I've just ordered some more tea, plus more bird food for the feeders since it's so cold (no snow up here yet though), and we've booked tickets for the new Tarantino film for tomorrow. Feeling pretty positive for once, and shaping up for an afternoon's research reading. Not such a bad life at all!

* spot Gran & Bampa's wedding photo -- another lovely Christmas gift.

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I've been back at work now for 4 days. Unfortunately, I'm feeling really tired. January is a funny month. I find myself changing my mind throughout the day about whether I feel optimistic about the new year, and happy for its potential for fresh and new change, or whether I'm exhausted and chafed by the hardness of a time that feels so cold and dark and a long way from Spring. Last Sunday I idly looked back through this blog and was a little taken aback by how often I expressed frustration about work. I knew I found work hard, but I feel as though that's a recent thing. But actually, it's been wearing me down for more than 2 years. Is that okay? I don't think so.

I'm not sure yet what to do about that in a material sense. But I think it's time to make some changes about it in a mental one. I see now that I need to start actively letting go of the things that upset me -- they're just not going to go away, so it's time to cocoon myself away from them -- and just quietly concentrate on the bits I enjoy. For this week that's teaching Blake, and reading Herbert. Both good things spliced between the exhausting.

For the rest, it's also time to look after my health (O blessed body! Whither art thou thrown?, as I've just remembered from Herbert), after it has been so shaky. I'm in dire need of herbs, creams, a hair cut, and vitamins. January, you're a hard task master.

* Lovely new calendar by Heidi Nicole.