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I've been back at work now for 4 days. Unfortunately, I'm feeling really tired. January is a funny month. I find myself changing my mind throughout the day about whether I feel optimistic about the new year, and happy for its potential for fresh and new change, or whether I'm exhausted and chafed by the hardness of a time that feels so cold and dark and a long way from Spring. Last Sunday I idly looked back through this blog and was a little taken aback by how often I expressed frustration about work. I knew I found work hard, but I feel as though that's a recent thing. But actually, it's been wearing me down for more than 2 years. Is that okay? I don't think so.

I'm not sure yet what to do about that in a material sense. But I think it's time to make some changes about it in a mental one. I see now that I need to start actively letting go of the things that upset me -- they're just not going to go away, so it's time to cocoon myself away from them -- and just quietly concentrate on the bits I enjoy. For this week that's teaching Blake, and reading Herbert. Both good things spliced between the exhausting.

For the rest, it's also time to look after my health (O blessed body! Whither art thou thrown?, as I've just remembered from Herbert), after it has been so shaky. I'm in dire need of herbs, creams, a hair cut, and vitamins. January, you're a hard task master.

* Lovely new calendar by Heidi Nicole.