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FFS. Being cold from no hot water or heating; enormous IKEA deliveries on my doorstep that I haven't ordered; escaped doglets and thence tearing around, chasing a seemingly flying French bulldog through the streets in my pyjamas and slippers, eventually careering into the soggy meadow where my trousers got soaked, I slipped on the leaves and still she continued to evade me, dancing with delight and bobbing like Muhammed Ali because I couldn't grab her. Coco, you drive me insane!! All these things have happened in the last 24 hours. Days when things astound me by their total failure to go right, and when things that are peeving enough normally (teenage behaviour in grown women, for example, or breezy cover ups at work) start to burrow under your skin and make you question everything, including your own sanity. Lucky, then, that there are some things that are brightly coloured and nourishing. How lovely is the green of this juice? There's spinach in that. Figs in the shops – a last burst to remind you of summer warmth – is also not at all bad. It's autumn, so bad days and good.

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*Harness now mandatory.